Nothing can make this day better.
Only 1,925 miles to Flagstaff.
Only 1 day and 7 minutes drive time.
Only 6 days and 19 hours via bike.
Only 23 days, 14 hours walking time.
It’s not that bad, right? Right? I’m searching for anything to make this better, but the hurt is still there. Every minute spent together the back of my mind is screaming “when will you do this again?” Because my heart and my head knows that this whole “adventure” is so unpredictable. I could go visit on a weekend. I could see him within a month for a couple of days. Or, I may not see him until the end of August when my internship is done.
And then what? When is the next time after that? Christmas? My graduation? I keep thinking of all the things we’ll miss together. Birthdays, anniversaries… but not even that. It’s missing all the laughs, smiles, pokes, tears, inside jokes… everything.
I feel like since I ended last year at school, nothing in my life FEELS like my life. I wake up almost every day now and say to myself “this is not my life”. I’ve lived in Mt. P for the past 5 years. 3 of those years were in the same house with girls I knew. This year I moved, moved in with boys, and am now moving again. I just wish everything could STOP. Stop moving. Just for one day. Just for one hour. Just for one minute. I’d give anything.
